So I realize that I haven’t blogged in a while. I also realized that in a very strange way I actually miss it. It’s hard to find things to blog about here in Canada, though it shouldn’t be. To be honest I’ve had quite a few interesting experiences in my new Clinical position here, though most of them involve me being hit on in various ways by old ladies. They love the hair, I think maybe I should rid myself of it and maybe rid myself of the problem. But who am i kidding. It's a real confidence boost walking into work and being called a tall drink of water.
I am now inches away from being done school. A few clinical shifts, a couple assignments and some formalities to finish and I’m officially a university graduate. It’s weird. I’m not sure whether to be sad or ecstatic. I think the problem is I’m both and therefore neither. I mean, don’t get me wrong, five years is plenty of time for an undergraduate degree. And I am so happy to not have to be doing all those papers, assignments, exams, etc. They were getting old. But at the same time there’s something charming and wonderful about university. Maybe the relative lack of responsibility, coupled with the independence has a bit to do with it. I’m not sure. But on the other hand I sure am glad to be making money instead of spending it. The problem with making money is that it involves selling your soul. Something I’m not yet ready to do.
Perhaps the other problem I have is the unknown factor. Beyond next Tuesday my life has relatively no definition. Aside from the Registered Nurses entrance exam, I have no responsibility, and no structure to my life. While there’s something exhilarating about that, there is also another word for it with far less positive connotations. It’s called limbo. And, as a grad friend of mine was more than happy to point out, Limbo is not that fun. Since he’s getting a masters in engineering, I think he’s pretty smart guy.
Whatever the cause, now is a time of turmoil in my ever interesting life (note the sarcasm). I am excited for the new, possibilities and the freedom. I fear the unknown and leaving the protective halls of academia behind. Three months ago I was counting down the days until I was finished, now I’m wishing the days would go by a little more slowly so I can process it all.
While the fear and the exhilaration intermingle, I can rest knowing that I have had a wonderful experience. An opportunity many people can only dream about, and have made some wonderful friends along the way. I am a blessed individual, whatever the future holds.
